10.07.2006

Partners

There are days when your brain just begs to be left alone, to have a little time to itself and not have to answer questions, address concerns, and decipher emotions.

Like yesterday.

I tried bargaining, pointing out to my brain that it gets to sleep quite regularly, and doesn’t that amount to time off, until Brain replies, “Uh, who do you think is keeping you alive all night? You certainly aren’t pumping blood and breathing without my assistance. In other words, I never get a night off, so if I want to take a leisure day, I say, ‘Back off!’”

Message received. Loud and clear.

But what am I supposed to do in the meantime with a brain that only wants to attend to essentials, which, by the way, has been clarified to not include dealing with my life. Essentials goes back to that breathing and pumping stuff, with several other add ons that doctors and well-informed Googlers can easily sum up.

To fill the emptiness of being abandoned by Brain, I walked around my neighborhood and happened upon a romantic rendezvous of two police cruisers in an isolated and quite idyllic setting. That was sweet. Looking at their obvious love connection, I felt a bit jealous, but then silently celebrated their finding each other.

Venice is known for its eccentricity, so imagine my delight in spying a unique purchasing opportunity right at the end of my street.

I thrilled to be able to capture these moments, but struggled to not call up Brain, my best friend. But true to my word, I let Brain rest, figuring we’d share a laugh in a day or so.

Funny things happen in a day without a brain. You worry less. You strive for less achievement. You even dip into your child’s year-old Halloween candy.

~

Brain came back online today, and we had a little fight. I’m still trying to figure out who started it. I guess I wanted a little credit for giving Brain recharging space, but Brain told me that if I only took things more lightly, recharging wouldn’t be so necessary. With impatience, Brain tells me to relax, to not press so hard, and just find inner peace. I tell Brain that it can’t possibly understand the pressure I’m under, to which Brain plays the trump card, “You don’t think I’m under pressure? I keep you alive.”

It’s so unfair. With that little task up Brain’s sleeve, I’ll never successfully plead my case. Still, I claim that I carry the responsibility of making my life meaningful, and that’s a lot to shoulder.

Brain recommends getting a sense of humor, which I think is a pretty damn good suggestion. On my way there, I chant all the things not wrong with my life, which is a lengthy list and should definitely keep me content. Only, I have memory issues so as soon as I stop chanting, I start wanting. Wanting sucks. There should be repellent cream against the condition.

I take full responsibility for my immature perspective on my blessed life, and when I apologize to Brain for being such a pain in the ass, the room grows quiet. After a mighty sigh, Brain speaks up. “It’s my fault, too. We are in this together.” And I smile. I think that’s all I wanted to hear, that I had a partner in this mess, because maybe together we can do better.

6 comments:

esSGee said...

"Brain recommends getting a sense of humor, which I think is a pretty damn good suggestion."

Too bad Brain wasn't around while Humor found the police cruisers in love and the unique investment opportunity right outside your doorstep. I know they will cross paths again.

This post leaves me smiling. It reminds me that there is a wonderful world out there, we just need to look for it.

acumamakiki said...

I love that the blue porta-loos found one another. And I love reading about Venice here, it makes me happy to read about LA.

jen said...

i heart your brain.

and you are right about venice - delicious eccentricities..my family ran a homeless shelter there for a long time - it's how i cut my baby teeth on the work i do now.

Neil said...

I say, things could always be worse. You could be going to the bathroom in one of those port-o-potties. Have you ever been in one of those?

Margaret said...

The police cruisers, the port-pottys, all the love. I'm sure it was hard not to share with Brain...or since mine turns off frequently, Brian.

ecm said...

I love that Brain is a character in this essay and the humor of it all. This left me smiling.