The Wedding Toast

(I have never before written about another blog, but sometimes we must break with protocol for a special occasion…)

There are three kinds of people in this world, those who see a problem and imagine a glorious solution and are energized by the vision; those who see a problem and feel despair and crawl into their cozy corner and hope it goes away; and thirdly, the ones who won’t even look at the problems, who won’t consider their existence, for the thought of such existence inconveniences their lives.

Jen and Mad fall into the first category. They take charge, plunge forward, elicit the aid of others, and look to stimulate change. They have the ability to start a movement, and results follow behind them like fans of the Pied Piper.

I teeter between group one and group two, often exhibiting the qualities of those who get overwhelmed by all the social injustice in the world. During certain sprints of action, I can reach out, speak, organize, and hope, but then I must go back to my corner and recharge. I feel the world’s pain so deeply that I ache, and I can’t always come forward and act.

So today I toast Jen and Mad for their relentless pursuit of justice, for their eternal strength in seeing the possibly that lurks behind the despair, for knowing that ‘enough’ is what most of us have, and ‘not enough’ is what most of us do. But rather than giving up on us, this lovely couple has called us to action to fire up the part of us that believes. And I propose that in honoring their union, we don’t leave the reception feeling that we’ve done enough, but go back to our lives remembering the call to duty, to look for the little ways during our daily routines where each of us can try to improve the world, to make it more just and more equitable, to take a moment to help someone suffering or to speak to the defense of others in need. We need not turn our lives upside down to accomplish this goal. We need not be full-time aid workers. We can simply be hopeful inhabitants of the planet, those who can imagine a better world.

To Jen and Mad…and a better world...


Girlplustwo said...

ahhh. sister.

this is SO lovely. truly.

teary-eyed lovely.

And yes, I WILL use this as our toast on Sunday.

Thank you. See you then.

Anonymous said...

Very nice, deezee... and very good points. :)



Anonymous said...

i always get misty-eyed during a toast, this time no different. here's to jen and mad ~ chin-chin!

Anonymous said...

deezee, thank you. This is a profoundly moving toast. I know I often fall into category 2 myself. But you are right in saying that if we just work in small ways and work from what is do-able in the every day, then we can--yeah, we can--make a difference.

Anonymous said...

I agree that I fall into the category of feeling so overwhelmed and feeling so much I get paralyzed in a way. But reading Jen's blog and recognizing the fires burning inside of me, I've decided to get up off my arse. All because of Jen. I headed out on Friday morning with the kids in tow with bags of shoes, coats and clothing. We stopped in to a Women's & Children's shelter. We handed over all of our "extra's". Our extra's that someone else so depserately needs. I agree that it doesn't take monumental gestures. But just the tiniest extension of ourselves could be the biggest difference for someone else. Beautiful toast. Absolutely gorgeous!


Anonymous said...


boho girl said...

this was very inspiring.

cheers to Jen & Mad!

Willie Baronet said...

Hear, Hear. Or is it here here? ;-)