My Concern is Your Concern

Dear Sitemeter,

I am worried about you, which is kind of a way of saying I’m worried about myself. And no, not all of my relationships are thus structured, but I think you can handle my honesty because we have never pretended that ours is a two-way relationship.

You have refused to share stats with me for three days. I tried emailing your master to determine if you were ill, but I received no response. Either your master is off at a prolonged happy hour, you are truly ailing and master is thus preoccupied, or as a non-paying customer I am of little concern. I don’t know which of these possibilities I would most embrace.

The truth is that with you out of commission my stalking behavior is hampered. I can no longer discover which kind souls are sending me readers, and therefore I cannot hop back to them and say ‘thank you.’ I like to be gracious, so you see you are harming my reputation by making me seem ungrateful.

I don’t know how long I can let you malinger. At what point do I end our relationship and find a new stalking partner? Have you ever done this to others? I hope you will reply and let me know how to proceed.

Thank you.
Your loyal blog writer who is slowly going mad

UPDATE: the impersonal response snatched off sitemeter's blog...

s25 - Update
We are aware of delays and lag on s25 and are doing are [sic] best to resolve it. In this case we had a particular site that has been running a promotion, nearly quadrupling their traffic. We’re working on relocation [sic] this site to another server. We expect to see the lag dissipate over the weekend.

The Sitemeter Team

Yes, I am part of s25. I can assure you that I am not the site behind the snafu. Quadrupling my traffic would register less than a passing 18 wheeler on the Richter scale (we Californians do care about that Richter scale.)

But really, running a promotion to increase traffic? Interesting. I could use a little more lovin'. Now, what can I offer??? [thinking cap put on and plugged in...]

In the meantime, I've have taken your suggestions and am stepping out on sitemeter. Statcounter, are you ready to dance?


Anonymous said...

I have stat counter too, but being a complete inept computer user, I didn't realize it wasn't working and can't figure out how to read my stats even if I could!!

Girlplustwo said...

i broke up with sitemeter a while ago after learning she was cheating on me with other really important and overly trafficked blogs, thus leaving no time for my whims or desires.

i hooked up with stat counter. while our affair is new, she's revealed more of herself and has more to offer than sitemeter ever did.

plus, she's cheap. whoops, i mean free. sorry, stat counter. i love you.

Emily said...

this was very funny...i have statcounter too and i haven't had any complaints although I go in phases of ever checking it at all :)

Margaret said...

I feel your pain, I can't imagine the loss I'd feel if google anylitics did that to me!

The Honourable Husband said...

I'm in the same boat. But I'm keeping his code in place, just in case he's been counting in secret, and will return to me with a nice surprise.

But just in case, I've strated sleeping around. Statistically speaking.

Churlita said...

You should totally cheat on him. I have a couple and both miss certain hits. My Tracksy went down for a while, but I still had Sitememeter. I too have had no luck trying to contact these fickle bastards when I'm having problems. They take us cheap dates for granted, I suppose.

LittlePea said...

Maybe sitemeter feels unloved and unappreciated....Maybe sitemeter needs a date-night....

Anonymous said...

We have a sitemeter, but I've never looked at it.
I was just telling the s/o that poor spelling drives me crazy. I'll add to that - poor spelling by businesses drives me VERY crazy!

Anonymous said...

I also have been having problems with Sitemeter. I've been e-mailing them for well-over a week now and have received no response. They put notes on their blog from time-to-time, but the problem still persists, and paying customers (and non-paying customers) are left with no service and no explanation. If they're not able to fix the problem, at least they can respond to customer e-mails.

Trouble said...

how sad is it that we've all become addicted to sitemeter? Sitemeter, the new crack.

DZ: You can always try searching your blog on technorati to see who links to you.